I wanted to share some more “Les-Link-Love”, and let you know about another cool site I recently came across! Les Loveground is a new site specifically for South African Lesbians and Bisexual women! Wooohooo.. it looks to be a promising place to hang out, chat, meet people, etc.. both online and offline! đ Check out the Events section for group meetups!
Myth 4: We have no family values or care for them
Firstly, the definition of “family values” is somewhat ambiguous, or rather has varying interpretations in different contexts. When someone is referring to gays and lesbians however, they are probably talking about moral and social standards, predominantly based on traditional and biblical teaching, of the family unit, and how you raise your children. In other words, for a start, being LGBT goes against “family values”, because God created Adam and Eve, and the importance of both a male and a female parent are seen as necessary for healthy family life.
Many gay and lesbian couples long to have a family, and many of these people share many of the “family values” found in heterosexual families. Loving committed monogamous couples who want to raise their children to know what’s right and wrong, to be polite, respect other people, etc. We do care, and we do have those standards. Just because we’re gay does not mean we are pro promiscuity or don’t care what our children get up to! I think a lot of gay and lesbian couples would agree that they would like their children to have both a male and a female role-model, and in a lot of cases, that can be found in a close family friend, an aunt or an uncle, a grandparent, or even the biological parent.
There continue to be studies on the effects on children in different family circumstances, but I am not going to go into all of that, suffice to say that there is no hard and fast evidence to say that children raised in a same-sex family are any worse off than other children. And when it comes to adoption, I would far rather a child is adopted into a stable loving home consisting of 2 moms or 2 dads, than no parent at all!
The point though, is that the statement outlined in the title is not true. We do care about raising our children to be morally and socially outstanding people, to the best of our ability.
Category: Myths
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The Bible and Homosexuality – will this debate ever end?!
The reality to this debate, is that both sides have very strong points of view. If you are not familiar with these “sides”, take a look at these (as a starting point, there are loads of other places on the web): Soulforce – What the Bible Says – And Doesn’t Say – About Homosexuality and Leadership U – Homosexual Theology. It’s the very reason there is still so much controversy around those who claim to be both gay and Christian. Both sides have numerous theologians, researchers, and other academics, presenting their interpretations and counterviews on the subject.
I for one… am no theologian. I will never learn the original Hebrew and Greek languages and culture of the time, and go try interpret these scriptures for myself. But I do read what others have researched and concluded. I can see the case for both sides. I say this because I continue to read both points of view. I believe everyone (gay AND straight) should with an open heart before God, research and study these scriptures and the commentary on them.
From there, I think there comes a time when one must stop re-reading the debate over and over (as I still find myself doing), because it is actually all the same. It’s not going to change. If you have read both sides, and are truly open to finding what God wants to say to you, then do that. Read, research, pray, and then leave it alone, and find peace with what you believe God has revealed to you by His Holy Spirit.
Once you have personally found peace for yourself.. understand that you have found your revelation (whatever that may be), and that quite possibly others find theirs, which may be different to yours. Whether you are gay or straight, or believe same-sex relationships are right or wrong, it is not for you to judge another. Only God is the judge.
On this note, and to ensure no misunderstanding, see this post by Kori Ashton. I am not saying take what you read and form a belief system that fits you. I am saying read both sides with your heart open to the one true God, to hear His voice, reveal to you His truth (not necessarily the truth that suits you best).
I personally don’t see any end to this debate. I think it will continue to be the most controversial topic in modern Christianity. I just hope and pray that people learn not to judge others, and that this “debate” never becomes a war. Too many people have already suffered, whether physically or emotionally, and it is the saddest thing.
I can guarantee you, that many many Christians who discover and begin to accept that they are gay, fight with this issue intensely. It takes a huge toll on us. We are Christians, and we are human beings. We want to serve God and please Him. We want to live our lives for eternity with Him. We love Him and worship Him. But we are also gay. We did not choose it. We know God loves us. We will live our earthly lives to the best of our ability. Don’t judge us or think we have not grappled with the Bible on this one.
Category: General
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Myth 3: It’s just sexual perversion
Uh Erm! No! Wrong again! Do not generalise and make us all out to be sexual perverts, we’re not! Some of us may be.. but again there are probably more straight sexual perverts out there, so really, what’s the point?!
It amazes me how the homophobic among us cannot understand what being gay really means. For some reason, they fail to see that the very feelings they experience for the opposite sex are exactly the same as what we feel for the same sex. That includes a multitude of emotions and feelings that are not only sexual! Instead we’re reduced to being sexually screwed up people who obviously don’t know what real love is?! Remember, we didn’t choose this.. it’s how we’re built! It’s natural for us. It’s just as awesome and exciting, and painful and scary, and everything else in between as what straight people feel for the opposite sex.
Chemistry is difficult to explain, and people cannot manufacture it.. it either happens or not.. for you it’s with the opposite sex.. for us it’s most often with the same sex, that’s all!
Category: Myths
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More Links
I’ve added a new Local link category in addition to the Gay Christian link category. Here you will find links I add to South African blogs and resources. The first being Cape Town Lesbians (CTL).
Also, I have added a link to the Good Hope Metropolitan Community Church for those who would like to attend an accepting / inclusive church. I have not (yet) visited this church, so I cannot give any personal opinion on it.
Lastly, Melanie Lowe is someone I have always thought was “like me”! đ She’s awesome, and I have a lot of respect for her. I was very sad to miss her recent Living the Truth tour! đ
Enjoy, and please don’t forget, if you’re browsing around this site and have something to say, I would love to hear from you!
Category: General, Information
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Myth 2: Bad Parenting
I titled this bad parenting, but it entails any of the following: abuse, rape, distant mother, distant father, overbearing mother, overbearing father, and (for the “biblical” people) how about parents “not training their children in the way they should go” (Prov 22:6)?!
Firstly, how can you stand there and assume and cast judgement on anyone’s parents or upbringing?! Sadly, many gay people have suffered from some of the listed grievances. But, many have not (just ask Shannon K). Let’s not forget that plenty of people (probably more) in the world have suffered those very same grievances, and still remained perfectly straight!
As the for the Christians who might believe that if a person is gay that their parents did not train them in the way they should go.. well trust me.. I was taught very much the way I should go. That couldn’t make me straight, though I have constantly tried! And, I do have a very real relationship with God, and high moral and social standards. Many Christian families raise their children to the best of their ability in the ways of the Lord, and yet many Christian families have gay children. Of course, often not all the children are gay.. siblings raised in the same home and ways of the Lord may be straight, or they may be gay. It’s not up to the parents.
I am not saying that parenting, upbringing, and childhood circumstances and experiences do not have an impact on our lives, but it’s not what makes a person gay or straight. So, parents, stop blaming yourselves! And critics, stop judging us!
Category: Myths
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Gay Christian Links and Resources
I’ve added a few links to the right column so far. More will be added over time.
I wanted to say though, that this blog is not about me trying to convince anyone of “truth”. I believe we are each responsible before God for our own lives. I do believe people should research and study and discover ALL points of view on subjects before finding their peace with what they believe. It may be that some of the links provided here are very much one-sided in their beliefs, but I will try to provide balance.
Some specifics to look at:
- Gay Christian Network (GCN): This is probably the biggest and most well known Gay Christian organisation. I’d like to highlight their “Great Debate” resource for those who are searching. Justin (Side A) believes God blesses gay marriage, while Ron (Side B) believes Gay Christians are called to celibacy.
- Soulforce.org: This site has some good resources on interpreting the Bible, as well as other Psychological and Medical points of view on homosexuality.
- Les Be Pure: I discovered this site which happens to have a similar naming convention to mine (clever peeps đ ). This is interesting, as Kori Ashton was part of an “ex-gay” movement for years, but is now happily engaged to her partner Rebecca.
- I am a Gay Christian: This site looks to have a lot of good resources. I think it’s still fairly new.
Lastly, I wanted to let you know about an excellent sermon from Gateway Church in Texas.
I hope you find some of these resources useful. As mentioned above, I am not trying to push any belief, but rather encourage research and thought and discussion. đ
Les Be Real! đ
Category: General, Information
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Myth 1: I woke up one day and decided to be gay!
It’s actually hard to believe how clueless some people still are! Even now, in the 21st century, some people seem to think gay people woke up one day and made a choice. I mean, yeah, what a great idea! I want to be constantly ridiculed, judged, condemned, kicked out, rejected by family, and discriminated against, YES! What a great idea. Not to mention shrinking the pool of fish in the sea by an order of magnitude! Surely my chances of finding a soul mate would be better if I fish in my own pond! Les Be Real people.. ask any gay person.. they would not choose to be gay.. it’s a MUCH harder life to live.. do yourself a favour, and just think about it without all your ridiculous pre-conceived ideas.. and imagine if you were gay. In fact, scratch that.. if you are as straight as you may profess to be.. what on this earth would ever make you decide to change your mind and be gay?!
Category: Myths
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It’s Begun!
Ok, so there’s no more messing around – this site needs to make it’s mark now. There is no point in me publishing a site simply for myself. So here it is. Part 1 of “My Story” has been made public again. I have added some social media plugins, so let’s see what happens. I have a bunch of web sites I intend to mention or make permanent links to in future. I am phasing my rollouts a little, so stay tuned.. you are bound to find something useful here! So please… Les Be Real and enjoy! đ
Category: General
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Getting Ready…
I am getting ready to start pushing this site to the world, and start blogging regularly. I am looking forward to it, and I hope there will be some people out there who find it helpful. If you do, please send me feedback! đ
Category: General
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