Archive for the Category »Myths «

Myth 10: Tell them they’re sinning, that’ll fix ’em!

It saddens me to see that when a Christian, who has probably battled through the Scriptures with God countless times on this topic, comes out as gay, that so many people immediately start quoting scripture, telling them they are sinning, and quite honestly show no love. Trust me, this is not helping. We know what the Bible says, and how most Christians interpret it.

Before we found the courage to come out, in knowingly Christian surroundings, we spent countless hours researching these Scriptures, praying and asking God for guidance and understanding. It saddens me how many straight Christians don’t even consider doing a proper study into the passages that rebuke homosexuality. What do you honestly feel is achieved by telling a gay Christian that homosexuality is sin? Do us all a favour and study those passages properly before using them as weapons, in the so called name of trying to save a fellow brother or sister.

Most of us have tried to be straight. Most of us know, our same gender attraction will not go away, no matter how much we pray, try, date the opposite sex, or focus on other things.

We know what the Bible says. We have battled through the passages. We have called out to our loving, welcoming, grace giving Father. We are loved and accepted in Him, and we are free.

Remember not to judge. Love does not judge, and it does not condemn, and it does not reject or cast out. We are all brothers and sisters in Christ, who died to save ALL of us.

Myth 9: You have to sleep with a man before you know you’re a lesbian

Once again, this is one of those myths that you simply turn around to prove how ridiculous it is: Did you have to sleep with the opposite sex before you knew you were straight? Or… have you slept with the same sex before knowing you’re straight? People know before they have sex with anyone who they are attracted to. This should be obvious! I don’t even think I need to elaborate on it. Do I?

I will just add this… the fact is that generally, especially for women, their first sexual experience is not great anyway! For many women, it hurts, or the guy is done in 30 seconds and she is left wondering… was that it?! So, even straight women would probably agree that simply trying sex with a man is not sufficient to establish whether one is gay or not. Straight women may not like their first sexual experiences with men, but remain perfectly straight!

And just to take it a little too far ūüėČ … I reckon that a lot of straight people who do in fact try sex with the same gender will find it surprisingly pleasing… so beware! ūüėČ

Myth 8: You just haven’t met the right man yet!

Firstly, I personally know many straight single ladies who have not yet met their soulmate. I do not personally know any of these who have decided to switch teams because they have not met the right man yet… do you? If there are such individuals, they’re probably more likely bisexual if they are really honest!

Secondly, it is not because I personally have had any bad experiences with men. Sure, I know men I would definitely stay away from romantically, and I know many women who have unfortunately been hurt by men. This for the most part also does not make people switch teams.

I guess you would think it silly if I said to you, that you’re straight because you haven’t met the right [same sex as you] person yet? Well exactly! That’s why this myth is ridiculous!

Also, if you take a read through “My Story” you will find that I have not been avoiding meeting “the right man”. You will find that I am certainly not opposed to falling in love with a man… but that is not my natural inclination. And if I did end up with a man, that will not cure me of being attracted to women. I will always be attracted to women, but I am monogamous and committed, so if I end up with a man, then that is the person I will love with all my heart. I have known plenty of fantastic men in my life. Guys who certainly were very good marriage material, and most of them are now married! The point is that it is not about meeting the right man. Being gay or lesbian is about who we are attracted to, and in our case, it’s the same sex, not the opposite. It is not simply a case of meeting the right man.

Myth 7: Keep your kids away from us, we’re contagious!

Ok so maybe some of you are thinking this one is a little over the top – surely no-one actually believes this?! Well… hopefully not, but then I’m not convinced. It’s maybe not so much that people believe homosexuality is caught like a common cold, but rather that we must be a bad influence on society.

Here’s the thing… I believe that parents should raise their kids to respect all people, have open non-judgmental¬†discussions with their kids about different people in the world, and teach them to find their own standing in God. That way, there should be no discrimination, and no fear of the mere¬†presence¬†of a gay or lesbian person having any impact on another. That said, if the child is in fact also gay, then they will probably feel some sort of understanding with the gay and lesbian people they meet. It would not be the gay person’s bad influence – it would be who they are.

The point is this… God so loved the world (the whole world)… that He sent His only Son to die… that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life (John 3:16). There are no exclusions in that. And… even though there will always be many people in this world who do not believe in Him… that does not give any Christian the right to judge or discriminate against any other human being. We are all created by Him and in His image. We have no right to¬†disrespect¬†God’s creation, regardless of where they stand before Him. That is for God, and God only, to decide one day.

Another very important thing to note, is that I do not know a single gay person who would force, convince, or even desire anyone else to be gay… it’s not an easy life… just as mentioned in Myth 1… it’s not chosen… and why would it be?!

Myth 6: I’m Lesbian therefore I must be into you!

LOL! Oh my gosh! Yes, people still think this! I find it weird, funny and sad how some people’s “logic” works…

Ok, so you’re a straight girl, so you must be into ALL men!

Like I mentioned in Myth 3, chemistry is tough to explain, but our attraction to people works exactly the same way as it does for straight people… except maybe for 1 little thing… ūüėČ

Myth 5: We sleep around and aren’t monogamous

Once again, a generalisation of note! And, one that is certainly not limited to homosexuality! Come on people, Les Be Real! Yes, there are many gay and lesbian people who sleep around. Yes, there are many who don’t seem to commit and settle down. But let’s not forget all the heterosexuals in the same boat! And, more importantly, let’s not forget those gays and lesbians who are monogamous, not¬†promiscuous, and those who’ve chosen celibacy!

Myth 4: We have no family values or care for them

Firstly, the definition of “family values” is somewhat ambiguous, or rather has varying interpretations in different contexts. When someone is referring to gays and lesbians however, they are probably talking about moral and social standards,¬†predominantly¬†based on traditional and biblical teaching, of the family unit, and how you raise your children. In other words, for a start, being LGBT goes against “family values”, because God created Adam and Eve, and the importance of both a male and a female parent are seen as necessary for healthy family life.

Many gay and lesbian READ MORE…

Myth 3: It’s just sexual perversion

Uh Erm! No! Wrong again! Do not generalise and make us all out to be sexual perverts, we’re not! Some of us may be.. but again there are probably more straight sexual perverts out there, so really, what’s the point?!

It amazes me how the homophobic among us cannot understand what being gay really means. For some reason, they fail to see that the very feelings they experience for the opposite sex are exactly the same as what we feel for the same sex. That includes a multitude of emotions and feelings that are not only sexual! Instead we’re reduced to being sexually screwed up people who obviously don’t know what real love is?!¬†Remember, we didn’t choose this.. it’s how we’re built! It’s natural for us. It’s just as awesome and exciting, and painful and scary, and everything else in between as what straight people feel for the opposite sex.

Chemistry is difficult to explain, and people cannot manufacture it.. it either happens or not.. for you it’s with the opposite sex.. for us it’s most often with the same sex, that’s all!

Myth 2: Bad Parenting

I titled this bad parenting, but it entails any of the following: abuse, rape, distant mother, distant father, overbearing mother, overbearing father, and (for the “biblical” people) how about parents “not training their children in the way they should go” (Prov 22:6)?!

Firstly, how can you stand there and assume and cast judgement on anyone’s parents or upbringing?! Sadly, many gay people have suffered from some of the listed¬†grievances. But, many have not (just ask Shannon K). Let’s not forget that plenty of people (probably more)¬†in the world have suffered those very same grievances, and still remained perfectly straight!

As the for the Christians who might believe that if a person is gay that their parents did not train them in the way they should go.. well trust me.. I was taught very much the way I should go. That couldn’t make me straight, though I have constantly tried! And, I do have a very real relationship with God, and high moral and social standards. Many Christian families raise their children to the best of their ability in the ways of the Lord, and yet many Christian families have gay children. Of course, often not all the children are gay.. siblings raised in the same home and ways of the Lord may be straight, or they may be gay. It’s not up to the parents.

I am not saying that parenting, upbringing, and childhood circumstances and experiences do not have an impact on our lives, but it’s not what makes a person gay or straight. So, parents, stop blaming yourselves! And critics, stop judging us!

Myth 1: I woke up one day and decided to be gay!

It’s actually hard to believe how clueless some people still are! Even now, in the 21st century, some people seem to think gay people woke up one day and made a choice. I mean, yeah, what a great idea! I want to be constantly ridiculed, judged, condemned, kicked out, rejected by family, and discriminated against, YES! What a great idea. Not to mention shrinking the pool of fish in the sea by an order of magnitude! Surely my chances of finding a¬†soul mate¬†would be better if I fish in my own pond! Les Be Real people.. ask any gay person.. they would not choose to be gay.. it’s a MUCH harder life to live.. do yourself a favour, and just think about it without all your ridiculous pre-conceived ideas.. and imagine if you were gay. In fact, scratch that.. if you are as straight as you may profess to be.. what on this earth would ever make you decide to change your mind and be gay?!